But Is It Love? || A Poem ||My Thoughts About…Love

I came up with this some time ago, but thought it would be a good time to post this now, sort of as a Valentine’s Day post.

But Is It Love.jpg

But Is It Love?

We think we know all about love

We see it everywhere: in movies, in books, in magazines

But do we really know love?

Never too busy to talk

…but is it love?

Living lives together together

…but is it love?

Growing together

…but is it love?

Working together

…but is it love?

Sharing futures, dreams, goals

…but is it love?

Supporting each other

…but is it love?

Understanding each other

…but is it love?

Laughing together, crying together

…but is it love?

Saying “I love you”

…but is it love?

The pounding in one’s heart

…but is it love?

Love is in the air, this time of year

But what is love?

I wish I knew.

I wish life wasn’t complicated.
I wish I didn’t wish for love.
I wish I knew the way.
But there is love.
The love that comes from the Father
Pure, unfailing, unconditional love.

But is it love?
I can stop worrying. I can stop wishing. I can stop dreaming.
For I know love.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God! ~1 John 3:1


Ava Bright Lee || My Thoughts About . . . A Lot of Things, Really

This not a post that I usually write, but I’ve been feeling like I need to write this post for some time now. I feel completely inadequate, but I’ll do my best.

It is a story. One that needs to be told.

A story of faith. A story of grace. A story of love.

A story of fighting the good fight and of finishing the race.

And ultimately, it is a story that points back to God.

Ava Bright Lee.jpg

I heard about this story a few months ago through a prayer chain. It was our pastor’s friend’s daughter.

She was fighting a rare form of leukemia-both AML and ALL, combined.

There was a link to their blog, and I sat down one day and read it in four hours. (It’s here)

Ava Bright Lee. She was 4 years old when her mom brought her to the hospital, due to an infection. There the doctors found the cancer.

She endured interminable  rounds of chemo, innumerate infections, a bone marrow transplant, clinical trials, the works. Some of it worked . . . for a while.

Esther, Ava’s mother, had wanted to be an English major in college. Although she didn’t, the reason was quickly apparent. She was a writer.

Although she was so often physically, mentally, and physically drained, she fought for Ava. She comforted Ava. She looked for options. And she wrote.

Pages and pages of heartfelt anguish, grief, yes, but also faith. It was through this writing that Ava’s supporters connected. And prayed. And were strengthened.

Ava herself was a girl with wisdom far beyond her years. She comforted her parents. She spoke to her supporters. She held on.

During the midst of indescribable agony, her song was ever “My one defense, my righteousness, oh God, how I need You”.

Treatment after treatment, Ava hung on. Some worked, some didn’t, but one day, there was nothing left.

They had wanted to take a family trip to Disneyworld for Christmas, but that became impossible.

During her last weeks, Ava sang in the Christmas program at the church where her father was the pastor. It was a beautiful little voice, the same one that had sung “When I cannot stand, I’ll fall on you; Jesus you’re my hope and stay”. A little more than a week later, that little voice would never be heard again.

As many people were welcoming in 2017, Ava was welcomed into the gates of heaven.

When I started following this story, it was just “something interesting” that I read, every once in a while.

What I could have never known was how much Ava’s story could change me.

I’m a high school student. Ava was a girl who never finished first grade. In theory, I know more than her. But that is not the case.

She, and her mom Esther, have shown me what faith looks like. (For instance, read this post Esther posted just recently about her feelings after Ava’s entrance into heaven.) What courage looks like. What agony looks like. And they have always pointed me back to Jesus.

I know I’ll never meet Ava on earth now. But I’ll meet her some day. I can’t wait.

Why? || Poem || Thoughts


Why am I crying
Why is this so hard
Why am I so easily frustrated
Why can’t I do a simple task

Why do I even bother
Why do I strive to be the best
Why do I always fail
Why do I try

Why can I never be good enough
Why am I always mediocre
Why aren’t I actually really good at something
Why can’t I do something important

Why am I not like them
Why can’t I talk like them, write like them, act like them, look like them, sing like them, study like them
Why am I different
Why am I always the odd one out

Why don’t they text first
Why do I always appear so needy
Why can’t I wait for them to speak
Why am I so annoying

Why do I care when they don’t text back
Why can’t I understand they have other things to do
Why can’t I just wait
Why am I so afraid of being ignored

Why am I so proud
Why do I want people to notice me
Why do I need attention
Why am I always trying to show off

Why do I always want my way
Why am I so selfish
Why do I never look out for others
Why do I only care for me, me, and more me?

Why do I question myself
Why am I comparing myself
Why do I doubt myself
Why can’t I be satisfied with the way I am

Why do I doubt my faith
Why do I doubt myself
Why do I doubt my importance
Why don’t I know all the answers


One Nation, Under God || My Thoughts About The World We Live In

I’ve been thinking about doing this post for some time now, but I haven’t really gotten around to doing it. This morning, as I was working on my schoolwork with the radio on, I heard the Pledge of Allegiance. The particular radio station I was listening to invited schoolchildren to the recite the pledge, then would air it in the morning, so I heard the voices of children reciting our nation’s pledge.

Then I heard it. “One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

It struck me then: everyone still says the Pledge of Allegiance (well, except those football players who think they’re cool and don’t, but that’s rather beside the point). Most everyone says those two words from the Pledge of Allegiance: UNDER GOD.


Under God.

That’s truly what this country is founded on: God. This country is slowly heading farther and farther away from what truly matters: God.

There are so many things I could say about this, but I’ll just say the two most important to me.

First, we need revival. I’ll be completely honest with you; I don’t know much about how revival works. But I do know, it takes GOD. The time is right. We can do this.


We can pray. Pray hard. We can read the Bible. We can listen to what God is telling us. We can be open to what God wants us to do. We can spread the word. We all have mediums to share this on: FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, our blogs, YouTube channels, everything.

I heard something in a podcast thing the other night, and the speaker said something about, “As Christians, we will be spared the Tribulation. But if there is no revival soon, the Tribulation WILL COME SOON.” That struck me hard. We will be spared the Tribulation. How many will not? How many will we save from the Tribulation? What can we do about this?

I read a post recently by Kara at Saved By Grace about revival. Check it out, it’s really great.

The next thing we can do to help our country (well, I guess this doesn’t really count as much, but it’s just as important) is to vote. Now, I’m not old enough to vote, and I’m assuming neither are many of my readers. Get your parents to vote, get your friends’ parents to vote, get your grandparents to vote. So many Christians are neglecting one of their privileges by not helping to choose who their country is run by.

Who to vote for? Now, that’s a good question. I’ve heard numerous times “Oh, I don’t know who to vote for. He’s a racist, sexist, male chauvinist pig; she’s a liar, murderess, and crooked politician. So I’d have to choose the lesser of two evils, and that’s just morally incorrect.”

In my mind, the choice is simple. My vote is for the one whose view on murder abortion is that, well, that it IS murder! Racist, sexist, bigmouth, yes, but also NOT a murderer.

That’s how I stand. If you disagree, go ahead and disagree, but I strongly encourage you to choose the say that does not involve murder.

Here are a few links of some others talking about why they are voting for Trump-

I hope this made some sense. I had originally thought to write a post about voting. Then I wanted to write one about revival. Then I got the Under God part, and I decided to write a combined post. But did this make sense? Don’t know…maybe I’ll make a part two, expounding or something.

Also, how did y’all like this post? It’s the first time I’ve done something of this sort, so I’m rather anxious to know what y’all think!

Thanks for reading!


My Thoughts About…Swearing

I need to express my thoughts sometimes, usually about serious topics that I’ve been pondering or discussing. The counterpart, My Nonserious Thoughts About…(I’m creative, I know) is on my other blog, consisting of lighthearted, non-serious thoughts on serious matters.

I recently finished The Grapes of Wrath and the language within the book triggered a conversation with Rin about language, because she was reading the Selection series, which contain a few unnecessary d-words. It prompted a blogpost from her, and I responded with a comment long enough to be a blogpost…so here’s my blogpost…with the comment+other comments on the comment.

Growing up, I was (and kinda still am!) a “sheltered” homeschooled Christian kid…and never heard any “swearing” per say because I was homeschooled and all my friends were from church, literally the stereotypical homeschooled kid (at least, on Blimey Cow). I still remember how incredibly scandalized I was when I first heard the word “dude.” I use that word on a regular basis now, at least 4 times a day….but we won’t speak of that. One of my first exposures to “language” per say was in a devotional, where they explained that words such as “Gosh,” “Gee,” and “Golly” were misuses of the name of God.

Obviously, this naiivity couldn’t  last long. Around the time I entered middle school  I started using OMGosh (in spite of what the devotional said XD) However, I always felt condemned while using it. In retrospect, I think it was because I simply DIDN’T KNOW any other exclamations to use.

At a farther point in time, I quit using that particular expression, and this point in time is where I don’t remember any “general” use of any particular term.

However, as I’ve gotten older (I refuse to use the term “grown”), and spent more time on the internet and being exposed to more non-Christian, non-filtered stuffs, I learned about other such stuff. The amount of language in “classical” American literature (such as The Grapes of Wrath) really surprises me, although I understand that the authors were trying to express authenticity or whatever. I HATE reading bad words. I’m incredibly annoyed by people who actually print those words. I’m especially frustrated by those who put them up on the internet, where anyone who’s browsing has to get assaulted by a barrage of those words. (and the stuff about that Bible that says guard your hearts and your minds gets severely tested as well).

More recently, though, I’ve been using more “clean” swear words. Don’t even know why–I don’t think it’s to “feel cool” or anything. I think it’s more just like “I know these words, why not use them” but it’s like before. I say them without thinking, but then reprimand myself for saying them. I’m trying to improve; this is a bad habit for me, but I do need to find some “good” replacements for these words that I enjoy using. For instance, I dislike “OMGoodness” because I think it’s too clunky.

Does “shutup” count as a bad word? 

On the other hand, I personally don’t particularly MIND people saying stuffs like “darn” or “WTH” or “freak”…but what truly bugs me is the breaking of the 3rd Commandment, and, like, legit “bad” words.

Okey this post is like really unorganized and whatever, but I’m going off on another related tangent. That make sense?

Anyways, I recently realized how much store I put behind one of what I consider to be a “strong Christian” in my life says. My subconscious seems to say “oh, s/he says it, therefore it most be okay” even though it’s not necessarily true. I’ve noticed that s/he says somethings that aren’t exactly the best…so…I really can’t do that either.

Here’s my actual comment for those actually interested-

Hm. As the apparent instigator of this topic, I gotta chime in at some point, right? XD

Growing up, I was (and am!) a “sheltered” homeschooled Christian kid…and never heard any “swearing” per say until I entered middle school. At which point I started using [OMG] <the “clean” version>.

At a farther point in time, I quit using that particular expression, and this point in time is where I don’t remember any “general” use of any particular term.

However, as I’ve gotten older (I refuse to use the term “grown”), and spent more time on the internet and being exposed to more non-Christian, non-filtered stuffs, I learned about other such stuff.

I *personally* don’t particularly MIND people saying stuffs like “darn” or “WTH” or “freak”…but what truly bugs me is the breaking of the 3rd Commandment, and, like, legit “bad” words.

Also, I just recently realized how much store I put behind what the C’s say…so subconsciously, I note what they say in my head and go “oh, they say it, so it must be ok.” However, I’m now realizing that that may not be the case as often as I think it is.

IDEK I can’t express my thoughts on this well enough, but w/e. (also, I used the word “stuff” way too much in this post.) I may (if I have time) write a blogpost on this.

Also, my mom “forbids” the use of “shut up” in our family…which is both a blessing and a curse.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to know your thoughts on this subject–I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot.


P.S. I’m participating in Camp NaNoWriMo again this session, although I probably shouldn’t, because of school life and stuff. I’m doing a really low goal, like around 5K (but I’ll build on the goal if I can do it), just to ensure I can finish. Just wanted to throw that out there.