Rant: Friends, and How Society™ Portrays Friends || My Thoughts on Boys and Friends, and Society

As I’m going into my senior year and am turning 18 on my next birthday, I feel like I’m qualified to give friends/boys/society advice now. *insert eyeroll*

FriendsRant.jpg

I’ve been thinking about making a post completely dumping out all my thoughts for this topic, because it’s been a rather controversial thing that’s happened over my entire high school career, you could say. (Once you read the post, you’ll know why)

I actually made a twitter thread about this, that I’m using as my basis for this whole post, because IT’S IMPORTANT. IT’S SO IMPORTANT.

My best friend is a guy. (At least, one out of 3 of them is). We met when I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th grade. We go to the same church, so naturally I had been aware of him since before then, but we had never really talked.

And then my 8th grade year, I started doing science olympiad and band, which were both things he also did, and we became super close really quickly.

By my 9th grade year, we were using google hangouts with each other (large steps of technology for us homeschoolers 😂) And leT ME JUST SAY, once you start talking to me on Google Hangouts, there is no going back. I show what I think is my best side but what is probably my worst side on there.

At any rate, he is now one of my closest friends.

And beCAUSE my best friend is a guy, I really haven’t had any crushes (to talk about) throughout middle or high school. Yes, we do love each other, but it’s completely platonic. We both have other friends of the opposite gender, and we’re not limiting ourselves to each other.

And trust me, I’ve heard my share of crap about this friendship, mainly from girl friends (who are too eager to pair you with someone) and moms. (Once I overheard a church mom say to his mom regarding us: “if they fight like that now, just wait until they’re married”)

Growing up in a Christian community, I’ve heard my share of “your best friend should be the same gender so you can relate” stuff. And this is where I have an issue with Society™*. The World™ says “get yourself a boy/girlfriend as early as possible, date as much as you can, breakups are normal, so are crushes. if you feel like doing THE THING™ at age 16? GO FOR IT. WHY NOT. LIFE IS SHORT.” On the other hand, the church/Christian community says “Don’t have too close of friends with people of the opposite gender.”
*Society™ is defined as what The World™ and The Church™, or PEOPLE in general think

But honestly? I’m glad that my friend is a guy. I’m also glad I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with cheating boyfriends, or breakups, or any of that crap. I’m also glad I have a good standard to measure other guys by when I start dating.

Because trust me, if I’m dating someone (eventually) who doesn’t listen to me rant at 1am about life? He’s not staying. If I’m dating someone who doesn’t say “go ahead, rant. I’ll listen,” you can bet YOUR TOES it’s probably not going to last. (Though how I’d have gotten INTO aforementioned hypothetical relationship I really do not know).

If my future boyfriend doesn’t respect what I want, pray for me when I ask for them, give me the pressure on the important things, and in general just CARE, he’s likely as not going to BE my boyfriend.

Because of this friendship, I’ve not had the need to have boys “notice” me all throughout my middle/high school years, and that’s THE BEST. And wow, I’m so glad I didn’t spend time crushing left and right, because that’s JUST WEIRD. (#youknowyourehomeschooled)

And wow, I’m so grateful for HIM™, who has literally coached me through awkward social sitiations and girl friend issues (because, guys, MINDBLOWER: GIRLS ARE HARD TO FIGURE OUT. THE DRAMA IS REAL. it doesn’t help that I’m the most socially awkward extrovert on earth)

I’m breaking all societal norms/expectations, and I 100% think this is THE best path for me. It may not be *THE BEST* path, nor is it *THE* path that everyone should take, but this is the one I’ve taken, and I’m completely happy with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to ditch all your girl best friends and to find a best boy friend. Neither am I saying that EVERY girl must have a guy best friend that’s NOT their boyfriend. I just want to point out that IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE A GUY BEST FRIEND WHO’S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO YOU LOVE PLATONICALLY AND ITS ACTUALLY THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.

Talk to me! What are your perspectives on this? My perspective on this is probably different from other peoples’, both in the Church™ and the World™, and Society™ in general.

Advertisements

Rant: Every Christian Novel Ever

Yes, I know I’m stealing this from Katie Gregoire, but GOOD HEAVENS, JUST BECAUSE SHE DID IT DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T DO IT TOO! (her much more coherent video will be linked at the end)

Also another disclaimer: I’m not this angry in person. I don’t rant this much. Just incidentally these couple weeks I’ve had a lot to rant about. Just ask my friends. or not, because I rant way more to my best friends XD

In this blogpost, we discuss* components of a Christian novel, lovingly titled Every Christian Novel Ever, and what makes up a good Christian novel.

If I had wanted to be mean, I would have written this post as a ‘how to write a Christian novel of your own’ guide, but I know too many authors that work too hard to diss them like that. So thank me. I’m nice, I know.

*by ‘discuss,’ I mean SCREAM LOUDLY AND VIOLENTLY because why be quiet when you could be loud? #goodlogic

EveryChristianNovelEver.jpg

So, what makes up any book?

Setting, characters, backstory, plotline, content, climax, and resolution.

We’re going to discuss each of these.

Setting: Every Christian Novel Ever™ is either set a) in the Amish community, b) in the mid1800s in the Wild West™, or c) in Britain ~1800s/early 1900s. There have been rare sightings set during early 1900s in, like, New York, or even rarer sightings of books set in the modern time period.

Characters: A guy and a girl. (duh). Occasionally, it’s a girl and TWO guys. Never two girls, and a guy…not sure why. (*eye roll*) The guy is always ALWAYS super manly and has lots of muscles, is a policeman etc. The girl may be plain to look at, because of her sad background (see backstory, below), but the instant she puts on a ‘nice’ dress, she becomes the envy of any man in a radius of 50 miles.
no

Backstory: For the girl, she either has SUPER protective parents, or else, dead parents. Sometimes with a dead exhusband/fiance/boyfriend. For the guy, he either has a dead wife/fiancee/girlfriend, or was abandoned when he was little. So basically, dead parents/ex significant other/traumatic past in general. EVERY TIME.

Plotline: The plotline could go two ways. Either the guy meets the girl and falls in love with her at first sight, and the girl doesn’t love him back,  OR else, the girl and the guy don’t have ANY feelings for each other, but then *something* happens that throws them together. And BAM, suddenly the girl sees the guy’s muscles and sees what all she’s been missing out. And they accidentally touch, and electrical sparks fly.
kidding.gif

Content: Every Christian Novel Ever contains several required scenes. There’s, of course, the unnecessarily detailed his-knee-touched-her-arm-or-something-and-tingles-ran-down-their-spine-and-they-quickly-pulled-away-embarassed-but-then-thought-about-that-moment-for-days moment, and there’s always that impulsive he-looked-at-her-and-at-that-moment-he-couldn’t-restrain-himself-and-kissed-her moment. In the Amish books, there has to be either a singing or a quilting, and there also must be a beautifully unnecessarily detailed spiel about either the guy’s muscles or the girl’s natural beauty.

Climax: The climax usually involves some sort of realisation of love and/or a marriage proposal. Like, EVEN DISNEY WAS LESS CLICHÉ, OKAY? There usually is also a “okay, God, I guess you do exist, so I’m going to pray” moment, which is the whole “Christian” part of Every Christian Novel Ever, I suppose. XD

Resolution: A wedding and riding off into the sunset. Oh gee, I’d never would have thought! Nothing ever happens ever again, apparently.

applause

So now, when I review Christian novels, I can say “This book was yet another Every Christian Novel Ever!” and y’all will know what I mean! WOOT.

And, as promised, here’s Katie’s video.

Leave me your thoughts down below! I know I can’t be the only one who thinks that Christian novels are too formulaic.

Rant: Judging Music Tastes

Okay guys. I got a bone to pick. WHY DO PEOPLE JUDGE OTHERS’ MUSIC?

So a few weeks ago, my friends and I were sharing our Spotifys with each other (mine’s @sqq100). So my friends were both like “lol, so don’t judge what I listen to…” And I have issues with that.

Judging Music Rant.jpg

Photo Credits, editing mine, feat: PicMonkey

Music is a form of expression. People express themselves through what they listen to, and other people should not judge others based on how they express themselves.

Okay so ^ sounded EXTREMELY liberal. XD Obviously, there should be some restrictions in place.  I hope I’m not friends with someone who ‘expresses themself’ via drinking or whatever, but I do firmly believe that YOU listen to what makes YOU happy.

(Also, scientifically speaking, the chords and stuff in music may appeal strongly to someone’s brain and how it’s wired, and be completely repulsive to others’, similar to favorite colors and such.)

THE OTHER THING. People complain about language/content (violence etc) in music. Like they (they = some Christians) boycott everything with any trace of any language/content in their music, but then proceed to watch movies/read books with language/content in it? I’m all for filtering out content and only listening to “clean” stuff, but still, if you’re going to apply this logic to music, you might as well apply it to all media you’re going to interact with! If you’re only going to listen to Christian music, then also only watch Christian movies and read Christian books. LIKE WAT IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

I’m a classical musician, so I listen to a lot of classical music. Does that equate to my opening up myself to criticism and judging from my peers who listen to “contemporary” music? UM I CERTAINLY DON’T THINK SO. In the same way, I don’t think that people who listen to “contemporary” music should be attacked by people who listen to more “conservative music.”

I also listen to a bunch of music that aren’t really classified as “Christian” music to listen to. I listen because of the chords, of the progressions, of the vocalizations. While okay, people might be displeased with why I listen to, it’s still not an option to judge me as a person based on what I listen to.

(Also, by jingo, I listen to Christmas music in September, and I hope to goodness that nobody ever judges me for that XD)

Another thing. The music pastor at our church said something recently that made a lot of sense. He played a Middle C, and asked whether that was a “Christian” note or not. Naturally, that’s not a thing. A C’s a C, and it cannot be classified as “Christian” or not. In the same way, music cannot be classified as “Christian” or “nonChristian”. SO STAHP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ONLY GOING TO LISTEN TO CHRISTIAN MUSIC. Christian music uses the same chords as secular music, and while the words may be different, I don’t see it as an indicator as to how “spiritual” a person is.

One more thing. Music often correlates with memories, feelings, or emotions for people. It may be for sentimental reasons, or it may just be the music playing in the background when something happened. Whatever the case, it is important to THEM as part of who they are.

If you tell them that you don’t like that song, or don’t think they should be listening to that song, you may be disregarding what sentimental values that they have attached to that song, and that’s obviously important.

Music is a form of art, and not everyone likes the same art.

Am I saying that it’s wrong to share playlists, or to talk about why you don’t like music? Of course not! I’m just saying that it probably isn’t the best thing to judge someone based on their music tastes.

I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone here…I’m an ESFP, and I’m terrible at communicating myself through words, unlike some of my beautiful ISFP/INTJ/whatever bloggy friends, who are able to write beautiful poetry and thoughts and everything. I hope, at least, that this makes some sense. XD


I realise that I probably have a different view of this topic than most other Christian people. What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Rant: Unproductivity and General Negativity

How I've Been Doing.jpg

Random life update.

I don’t know what I’ve been doing. These two days, Monday and Tuesday, I’ve probably accomplished about as much as I would in 2 hours on normal workdays. I’m so unproductive, and I can’t seem to get motivated. I have so much work due on the weekend, then Monday and Tuesday I’m crashing, despite getting so much new homework. Also went to bed at 2.54 yesterday night/morning and woke up close to 10 this morning….close to 4 hours past bedtime and 2.5 hours past getup time. I really need to actually do stuff–my parents aren’t happy, my teachers aren’t happy, and I’m not happy because I can’t do what I want to do.

//It is well
//With my soul
//It is well, it is well with my soul

I have to teach piano lessons tomorrow and I don’t know if I know what I’m doing or not. Student #1 seems to understand and is learning to read music, while Student #2 doesn’t seem to understand and can’t seem to learn how to read music. Since they’re my first students (they’re siblings), I’m experimenting about how to teach them; one method (the one I learned with) on Student #1, a different one on Student #2. Either Method #2 doesn’t work for Student#2, or else at all, or I’m not teaching Student#2 right. His mother says he has some mild learning issues, or at least is slower to learn than his sister. I’ve only taught him THREE NOTES to read, and he’s guessing on them. AAGH. At least he’s practicing. His sister doesn’t seem to be practicing at all, but at least she can read music.

//All to Jesus I surrender
//All to Him I freely give
//I will ever love and trust Him
//In His presence daily live

I’m also so bad at blogging right now. The school load is so much heavier than I expected, and I don’t have time to blog. I’m about 6 books behind blogging wise, and I’m also running out of post ideas. I don’t know what I want to do. A HUGE goal of mine is to keep this blog going, until I graduate (either high school or college I don’t know), but then if it actually helps, then I have to be posting content that I actually like and that actually benefits my readers. I don’t know what to post, I don’t know what to say, I’m so uneloquent.

I’m starting to dislike the name “rockandminerals4him”, I want to change it into something more personal. Maybe a pseudoname, maybe my real name. I don’t know. AAGHUGDKJDFH:LSKDFGJDSOIJEJGNFK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE

Sorry guys. I try to keep my blog happy and positive, but sometimes I gotta vent and rant. I don’t know what I want to do, I feel like I can’t write, I can’t do things that make me happy, I have too much school, I’m stuck at home all day except Monday and Tuesday, and it’s just really annoying.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15

On a positive note, we’re playing Fiddler on the Roof this semester in band, and I’m currently listening to the soundtrack, as well as other music. There are sections that are so good that I’m just soooooo excited about, and I’m so happy. I love my band directors and it’s so awesome.

tl;dr (actually it it was actually tl;dr, you’d probably wouldn’t be reading this far down my message XD) I’m really frustrated with not being able to be productive these two days, I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m teaching piano, and music is great.

I’m so sorry guys. I’m so depressing. I don’t want to be this way, but yet I feel like I have to.

For now, farewell; have a good life, and don’t fail to breathe. 🙂

~Me

Rant: Pokemon Go

pokemongo

Not having a phone, I’m usually pretty far behind on current ‘popular’ trends. In this case, Pokemon Go. Yes, I just said it again.

My friend L told me about this new game, Pokemon Go, a couple of weeks ago, and since then, I have been BOMBARDED with Pokemon Go EVERYWHERE!

For those of you who are even more behind than I (I doubt there are many), Pokemon Go is a game basically, where you look for little Pokemon thingies that are scattered around the world, and collect them. Sort of like geocacheing, but electronically.

Part of my annoyance with this game is because I think it is a good idea! It makes people actually get out of the house, and go looking. I’m also very much motivated by collecting badges, achievements, and other stuff like that, so collecting Pokemon thingies (I have absolutely no idea what they’re called XD) is very appealing to me. And I have absolutely nothing against having electronically obsessed people getting out into public and, well, doing stuff!

What I don’t like, however, is how it’s pretty much taken over the world. I can’t think of something else right now that has been so talked about. I’ve found it in real life, on YouTube, and basically all over. the place. Basically, it’s gotten to the point where I’m really really mad at the entire world for even starting this trend.

Yeah, I get it. People like this game and they want to share to the world that they do. Fine. BUT IT DOESNT MAKE ME ANY LESS ANNOYED. NO SORRY POKEMON DONT SHOW UP ON MY BLOGROLL, MY YOUTUBE FEED, MY DESKTOP, GOOGLE, THE WORLD, OTHER HUMANS PLEASE.

And also, it’s kinda creepy. People stopping in random places, and you’re like, yup, Pokemon. The other day, there was a group of teenage boys stopped in front of my house, and I was totally freaked about it, but then realized that they were probably Pokemoning and not planning a robbery or a breakin.

So y’know, if you know where I live and play Pokemon, there’s one in front of my house. XD

Sigh.

I’m realizing that my ranting right now isn’t actually because I’m mad at Pokemon designers. I’m mad because I want to try it. And I’m also glad that I don’t have a phone and can’t do it.

Ugh.

Rant: Books Within Books

Okay, so can we talk about something for a moment?3636576273_1c6b4ed8f0.jpg

That glorious moment when you read a book and find a mention of another book hidden deep within it.

I LOVEEEEE when other books are mentioned in books.

Like in Ramona.

MIKE MULLIGAN AND THE STEAM SHOVEL

Although I don’t even like Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel, I LOVE when it’s mentioned.

Also in Project Mulberry. That mention of The Four Story Mistake? ITS AMAZING.

Books within books show that the author has actually read books.

And in the case of The Four Story Mistake, it shows that LINDA SUE PARK has read ONE OF MY FAVORITE BOOKS, and that’s awesome.

Is that just a thing about me? that I like reading books and finding other books? and fangirling because the author has read the same books as I have? and actually liked it enough to put it in a book that I read?

I don’t know.

And I don’t really care either.

But oh, how I do love books like that.


Linking up with Sarah at My Bows and Clothes!

link-up-image