Rant: Unproductivity and General Negativity

How I've Been Doing.jpg

Random life update.

I don’t know what I’ve been doing. These two days, Monday and Tuesday, I’ve probably accomplished about as much as I would in 2 hours on normal workdays. I’m so unproductive, and I can’t seem to get motivated. I have so much work due on the weekend, then Monday and Tuesday I’m crashing, despite getting so much new homework. Also went to bed at 2.54 yesterday night/morning and woke up close to 10 this morning….close to 4 hours past bedtime and 2.5 hours past getup time. I really need to actually do stuff–my parents aren’t happy, my teachers aren’t happy, and I’m not happy because I can’t do what I want to do.

//It is well
//With my soul
//It is well, it is well with my soul

I have to teach piano lessons tomorrow and I don’t know if I know what I’m doing or not. Student #1 seems to understand and is learning to read music, while Student #2 doesn’t seem to understand and can’t seem to learn how to read music. Since they’re my first students (they’re siblings), I’m experimenting about how to teach them; one method (the one I learned with) on Student #1, a different one on Student #2. Either Method #2 doesn’t work for Student#2, or else at all, or I’m not teaching Student#2 right. His mother says he has some mild learning issues, or at least is slower to learn than his sister. I’ve only taught him THREE NOTES to read, and he’s guessing on them. AAGH. At least he’s practicing. His sister doesn’t seem to be practicing at all, but at least she can read music.

//All to Jesus I surrender
//All to Him I freely give
//I will ever love and trust Him
//In His presence daily live

I’m also so bad at blogging right now. The school load is so much heavier than I expected, and I don’t have time to blog. I’m about 6 books behind blogging wise, and I’m also running out of post ideas. I don’t know what I want to do. A HUGE goal of mine is to keep this blog going, until I graduate (either high school or college I don’t know), but then if it actually helps, then I have to be posting content that I actually like and that actually benefits my readers. I don’t know what to post, I don’t know what to say, I’m so uneloquent.

I’m starting to dislike the name “rockandminerals4him”, I want to change it into something more personal. Maybe a pseudoname, maybe my real name. I don’t know. AAGHUGDKJDFH:LSKDFGJDSOIJEJGNFK I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE

Sorry guys. I try to keep my blog happy and positive, but sometimes I gotta vent and rant. I don’t know what I want to do, I feel like I can’t write, I can’t do things that make me happy, I have too much school, I’m stuck at home all day except Monday and Tuesday, and it’s just really annoying.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Romans 7:15

On a positive note, we’re playing Fiddler on the Roof this semester in band, and I’m currently listening to the soundtrack, as well as other music. There are sections that are so good that I’m just soooooo excited about, and I’m so happy. I love my band directors and it’s so awesome.

tl;dr (actually it it was actually tl;dr, you’d probably wouldn’t be reading this far down my message XD) I’m really frustrated with not being able to be productive these two days, I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m teaching piano, and music is great.

I’m so sorry guys. I’m so depressing. I don’t want to be this way, but yet I feel like I have to.

For now, farewell; have a good life, and don’t fail to breathe. 🙂

~Me

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